You know

I was watching the TV commercial for a now movie called Minotaur. Just out of the corner of my eyes while I was doing something else. Flashing on the screens was black leather, beautiful women, and total Evil. And just then I found myself thinking... I miss that!!!!

Now, I've been Polly Homemaker for over 30 yrs now, wife, mother, now grandmother. My old days before I decided to get married and have kids, are long gone.

Matter a fact when a good friend of me asked me about my life before I got married, I really glossed over what I did, I couldn't even go into detail. I was so ashamed that I couldn't open up to her, I know she would have appreciated it.

Now, after all these years, if it's not declassified yet, who cares? You know what I mean? Like who in the freeking world should care about my past anymore? I'm not going to be called up to work again.... I'm a grandmother for goddess sake! And any classified material has to be so outdated, that well, it's just outdated! Why shouldn't I tell my story??? Instead, I mumbled and inundated, but could come straight out and tell all.

I MISS THE EVIL WITHIN ME!!! There, I fucking said it!!!! I miss the women I once was!!! True, it was for the good of all, and for the safety of the US and so on..... But what I was and did, I relished! I did it for god and country, but because it felt good too. (mainly because it felt good!) Giggle

I made the decision that I wanted to get married, have kids and become Polly Homemaker. I thought it over, and mulled it, and anguished over it.... And then I became her. Not that the years have been bad, because they haven't. I needed that stability in my life, my kids... I could have done without the Hubby, but hay, he was nessary back then. Women didn't just have kids alone. Now, WOW, if I had it to do over again.... I would have gone alone.

I miss the Evil deeds and doings, the raw sex, and self satisfaction, the danger and mystery, I really do!!!! I want to be that women again!

Kitchen work

Hummmm, I'm trying to decide what to do with my kitchen counter tops. I know I want to replace them, but with what?

My kitchen has a nice island between the kitchen and the dining room, but it's ruined by an overhead cabinet that has no use what so ever. It's all glass, and can be only used for nick nacks and not much else.

But, because of it, you can't use the island! (you would bump your head on it) Even using the island for a buffet area is out, since you have to duck your head to get to the food. So I'm removing that, and since I'm doing that, I want to replace the counter top, which is cheap, and just plain boring!

I'm thinking tile... But I don't want to do the usual boring 4X4 square tiles. I'm thinking Italian tiles the big ones (12X12) Maybe even black marble tiles... Those are big also. I've tiled before, and as long as I use a DARK grout between them (dark prevents staining, and scrubbing) it should be fine.

Without that overhead cabinets it will totally open up the kitchen into the living room and dining room, and I think will look fantastic!!!! I of course will reuse those cabinets for something else.... I reuse EVERYTHING!

There's not much usable counter space now. Two small ones, next to the fridge, and by the oven, and the larger one from the oven to the island. The small ones will be easy, since it's just tiling and no need to fit the sink into it like on the big one. It really shouldn't be any trouble, except for the cutting of the tiles, something I've never really mastered. LOL But that can be fixed by having extra tiles on hand for when I fuck up! GIGGLE

But what color?? Should I go with something natural, like terra cotta, or light marble, or something dark, like black marble? Or maybe something with a pattern, or texture? I'm leaning twards a light beige type of tile.

Hummmmmmmm this is going to take some major thinking. And I have to make sure I get a DARK grout. I'm NOT going to spend time cleaning grout with a toothbrush!!!! Though I will make sure to use a silicon sealer, so that no stains can settle in the grout lines.

What to AVOID according to your birth sign

by Stephanie Dempsey

Every sign has its strengths and weaknesses. What strikes terror in the heart of a Leo seems like a minor annoyance to a Capricorn. Things that drive Cancer wild with frustration evoke a hearty laugh from Aquarius. If you'd like to make your life -- or somebody else's -- a little smoother, be aware of each sign's special bugaboos.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You Rams understand that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. That's why anything that slows you down can make your fiery temper rise.

What to avoid: Waiting in line at the post office or DMV; mediation counseling with your ex; art museums; lazy roommates; traffic jams; people who stand in your way; pointless discussions; boring movies; too much foreplay.

Your survival pack: A well-loaded iPod; online shopping; Aries friends; a lifetime gym membership; hot-box yoga; someone to vent with; a dart board; a good tennis partner.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You might have a hard time getting up in the morning or making a quick decision, Taurus, but once you get going, nobody can stop your forward motion. You love what you love, and there's no arguing with you about it.

What to avoid: Ugly objects; fake environments; quick showers; scratchy clothing; flirty partners; forced change; windowless offices; fast-food jobs; nagging mothers.

Your survival pack: A flush wallet; a chia pet; a chamois scarf; well-fluffed pillows; a faithful lover; a drive in the country; aromatherapy bubble bath; your favorite collection.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You Geminis are way social. You love hanging out with friends and can't stand being bored for a minute. Multi-tasking was created by the Twins.

What to avoid: Too much routine; long lectures; just one choice; a jealous date; an empty calendar; a long drive with no rest stops.

Your survival pack: A full address book; two TVs; text-messaging; TiVo; a 60 gigabyte video iPod; faithful friends, and lots of them; People magazine.


Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Your crab shell comes in handy, Cancer, because without it you are all mush. When your security is threatened, you go into protection mode.

What to avoid: Bungee jumping; risky investments; an empty cupboard; long business trips; unemotional partners; fast food; snow camping; biker bars.

Your survival pack: Home-cooked meals; a down comforter; old friends; photo albums; family keepsakes; good chocolate.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You were born for great things, Leo, so resist the urge to fit in. Don't be too quick to share the spotlight -- you're happiest when all eyes are on you.

What to avoid: Sitting in the back row; required uniforms; being ignored; too much time alone; a dead-end job; a date who is self-absorbed; mediocrity; coloring inside the lines.

Your survival pack: Admiring friends; karaoke in a crowded bar; a full-length mirror; dinner at a five-star restaurant; a flashy car; great sunglasses.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You've been blessed with a fine eye for detail, Virgo, but that means you have high standards for everyone, including yourself. Reduce your stress by cutting everyone some slack once in a while. The rest of the time, sidestep situations that push your "need-for-order" buttons.

What to avoid: Sloppy roommates; apartments with no closets; tiny kitchens; a disheveled date; an itinerary-less vacation; a hotel room with no iron; overpriced stores.

Your survival pack: Paper for making lists; other Virgos; a job with deadlines; great deals on quality stuff; good books; closet organizers; a leather-bound day-planner.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Ruled by the planet Venus, you're especially sensitive to your environment, Libra ... the people around you as well as your space. Take pains to keep your world beautiful and harmonious.

What to avoid: People who pick arguments for fun; a dark office; violent films; dull clothes; a partner who criticizes you; anonymity; too much routine; noisy apartments.

Your survival pack: Fresh flowers; lavender bath oil; gentle, caring friends; meditation music; shopping; a trip to the spa; a surprise date at a romantic restaurant.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You're one of the deeper -- and darker -- signs of the zodiac, Scorpio, and that's just the way you like it. More than others, you understand there is no happiness without pain. Nothing makes you crazier than someone telling you "smile!" or "cheer up!"

What to avoid: Game shows; cheerleading competitions; boy band concerts; half-full glasses; mysteries that have already been solved; direct sunlight; people who ask too many personal questions; dating someone with bad credit.

Your survival pack: Melancholy Britpop; black eyeliner; true crime novels; thunderstorms; "Six Feet Under' on DVD; a private savings account.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You're a wanderer, Sagittarius -- you roam around and around and around. To you, a life without adventure is a life without purpose. Timid friends won't be your buds for long.

What to avoid: Familiar faces and places; boundaries and limitations; homebodies; routines; know-it-alls; half-empty glasses; someone who tells you "you can't."

Your survival pack: A road map; a full tank of gas; trusty companions; a new destination; newspapers and philosophy books; causes to fight for; a parachute.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
You'll climb the ladder of success, dear Goat, but your insecurities may plague you on the way to the top. Don't underestimate your talents.

What to Avoid: A smothering mother; beating yourself up; rebels and outlaws; undefined goals; anything less than an A+; a high maintenance lover.

Your Survival Pack: Your security badge; daily affirmations; a five-year plan; precise measuring tools; good hiking boots; a to-do list; ambitious friends.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Not everybody shares your ability to make brilliant deductions, Aquarius. While others are trying to figure out how to program TiVo, you've hit upon an idea that blows quantum physics out of the water.

What to Avoid: The limelight; celebrity gossip; straight and narrow friends; linear thinking; a partner who needs you to be emotionally available.

Your Survival Pack: A telescope; your PDA; an astrology calendar; a community of friends; eccentric outfits; a skylight.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You desire transcendence, but take care how you escape reality, Pisces. The Fish may get his or her highs from dance and meditation ... or from booze and too much daydreaming.

What to Avoid: Jobs that require "attention to detail"; housecleaning; a nit-picky roommate; shoes that don't fit; hard science; too much to drink; a lover who hates to cuddle.

Your Survival Pack: A large DVD collection; dance shoes; an aquarium; a meditation cushion; group therapy; visits to the ocean; romantic poetry.

DONE WITH WINTER

Ok, I'm done with Winter now, spring better HURRY UP!!!!!

Gardening

MMMMMmmmmmmmm I've been having some really great dreams for the last couple of weeks. I found this spell to bring back dreams of childhood, and I use it each night. So far they have been full of adventure, beaches, sun, and playing. Nice. I need good dreams to cut some of the stress I've been under.

I've been talking with my friends about Shore Leave this year. For those who don't know what that is. Shore Leave is the biggest star trek convention in the world!!!! I've been going to it for over 26 years now. 3 days each July. I have to admit I have so much fun, Mainly seeing my friends and going swimming.

I want to have some kind of party in my room, but I can't figure out what kind..... I probably won't have one, but it's fun trying to come up with something. LOL

Actually, I have too much damn time on my hands!!! Being retired is cool, but I get board easily, and wish I had something I could do from home, like typing or something...Just too keep be a little busy.

I've started some seeds!!!!!!!!! Yes, I know it's waaaaay to early. But these are Artichoke seeds. Since they are made for longer growing seasons then mine.... I started them really early. When they get big enough, I'll transfer them to a big planter that I'll bring in the house. And when it gets warm enough, I'll put the planter outside. I HOPE I GET ARTICHOKE'S this year!!!!!! I'll let you all know how it turns out.

In one way I miss having a huge yard and garden, but in another way, I don't miss it at all!!!! I DON'T miss mowing the lawn, or spending HOURS weeding the vegetable's and flower beds!!!! I have a really nice cement patio, and I'm making do with container planting.

And, so far so good, I had TONS of tomatoes last year (I got so sick of them I stopped eating them in Aug.), and pea's and even a few cucumbers. This year I'm adding eggplant, and I'm getting two new half wine barrels and putting in a few bushes (like gooseberry's and blueberries) and I'm even using one for asparagus. I don't know how it will work out.... But at least I can go sit out side, and water my garden in one feel swoop, instead of having to set up sprinklers and such like I did in the old house. And it's MUCH easier weeding from a large container, you don't have to crawl around the ground, just sit in a chair and weed! Sounds like I'm getting old, doesn't it. LOL

DON'T PANIC!!!!

LOL No, the worlds not being destroyed for a freeway. But, I'm in the mood for something new! (I can hear my fiends now.... Where is she moving to now??? I refuse to help her with the U-Haul!!!!! Can't she stay in one place!!!!) Nope, nothing to do with that at all, I'm quite happy where I am.

But it's getting towards spring, and you know that's the time I get the urge to try something different. Like changing my hair color, re-arranging furniture, stuff like that. I feel the restless need to change my living space (without moving!) and it's starting to become over powering. Now, all I have to do, is find out what needs to change and change it!!!

In days past I would just dye my hair a new color, and feel good. But, I don't know if I want to do that. I sort of like my natural hair color, but I may do something about it before Chiller, or shore leave, just to refresh myself a bit.

No, that's not it. Changing furniture around is always good..... Not my den, I like it that way, but maybe my living room or bed room. <<>>> I can thank my father's gypsy side for this, and for all the other things I've done over the years... Such as all my moves and stuff. Every once in a while I feel the call to move, not settle down, to change, to do SOMETHING different!!!!!! LOL

It calls me in the night, and when I wake up I'm restless and moody, and I feel the need overwhelming me. All I have to do if figure out what that need is, and what smaller thing I can do that will satisfy it. I know what the bigger thing is, but I don't want to do it, so smaller will have to substitute. Usually this works pretty well.

One thing I did, was go out this morning after dropping Matt off at school, and buy some lottey tickets. A rare occasion for me, but I had some change, so I figured.... Why not? And I got some chocolate to sooth me some. That always works.

Other then that, I have to think about it, figure something out to stifle the urges I have right now. Giggle Any one have any suggestions?????

Self Gratification

Do you know how witchcraft works??????????

It's a karma thing. You can ask for things for yourself, and do things for yourself, but you have to balance that with doing for others.... Or else you get fucked! Yepper, fucked! I do spells for my family to keep them safe, and a few for good luck to me, but the main part is doing spells for others for help, luck, health.... Even if they don't deserve it .... It's good for your Karma and allows you to do spells for yourself.

Yin and yang. A balance. When the balance is upset, say you are hurting people, or become totally selfish, or don't apologies for your anger, or your hurting someone.... Even if you think you were right, but know deep in your heart you weren't, you have to apologies for what you did, or the balance is upset, and you will pay the price.

People have bad luck and say "why me" "someone's out to get me" "it's so and so's fault" and other things. What they don't look, is deep within themselves and see that the fault is their own.

They upset the balance by being greedy, or self centered, or by making excuses for what happened, or by asking too much for themselves and too little for family and friends. By not facing the truth about their behavior, and thinking they are always right, and everyone is always wrong.

There are a lot of ways you upset the balance. It can be as simple as taking care of yourself, and neglecting your loved one. I have one friend that takes medication, but her loved one needs it too, but doesn't get it... Because it's all for her. She doesn't care that he needs his meds also, or if she cares, she makes excuses for why she's more important them him. That upsets the balance big time, even though she thinks she's right.

It can be fixed! You have to go deep in to your self, your motivations, your lies, and see what you have done.... And face it!!!! You don't have to go up to the person and say "I'm sorry" but you do have to do it to yourself, and then accept " what you sow you will reap" and move on.

If you don't, it will build up, and you will wind up getting bit in the butt so hard......... Well, the ramifications can be totally serious! Like the death of a loved one, major financial ruin, ill health. They all are there to get the balance back to normal. You may say, "why do I deserve this??" (though most people just say "I don't deserve this!!) Look into your heart, and it will tell you why. Then fix it!!!!!

Like I may say "I don't like this person, I hate them!" but on the outside you treat them like anyone else. Be nice, even if you don't want to. The hate is balanced by the treatment, and it's over.

Doing things upsets the balance. If you lie, or cheat someone, or spread rumors about them, or created public disturbance to get attention.... All of those push your ying and yang out of wack, and you get whacked back.

Some people never learn. I've told people having problems, you need to look inside and say your sorry, or make amends, but they are so self-centered that they can't do it. They believe they are right, or they deserve to get all they can (for one reason or another) then bad luck fucks with them.... And they just can't understand why!!!!!

When bad luck hits me, I say "I deserve this" It's my fault, but it's ok because I'm sorry for what I did, and I'll face the consequences and then move on." This restores the balance, and after the bad luck leaves, good will follow.

Recently, I did something that probably hurt someone, not that they didn't deserve it.... They sure as hell did.... Not that it didn't have to be done.... Because it did. They had to learn a life lesson, they had to hear the truth..... But I was punished for it. My Karma was out of wack. But, I knew what I was doing, and to help the person, I had to hurt them. What I was punished for, was not the hurting.... But that I sort of enjoyed it. LOL We are all evil in someway. If I hurt the person to help them, that's one thing, but getting enjoyment out of it..... That's another. So I knew that I was going to get slapped, but it was worth it.

Unfortunately, my work was for nothing. Since the person thinks they are too perfect, and didn't do anything wrong.... So they are getting fucked big time by Karma. I tried to warn them, time and time again, to keep the balance, and when bad luck hits, to look inside and see what THEY did to cause it.... But it fell on deaf ears.

So check your KARMA. BALANCE IT! Do, face those things you did, and know you did them, and feel some sorrow that you did it. Face the feelings that you were wrong, and tell yourself that your sorry for it. And the balance will be brought back to normal, and your luck will change. Try it, you may like it! LOL

News

I just want to let all the people who cared enought to ask, that my old boyfiend/now just friend, is doing good! He's out of the hospital, and in rehab. Still working on walking again, but the Doc's say he should be totaly normal in a few months. This from a man in a coma. I'm so happy for him!!!!

Told you winter wasn't over/ decisions, decisions, decisions

AHHHHHHhhhh January has been so wonderful. We had some cold, then sweet balmy weather. But Feb. Has bitten us on the ass. GIGGLE Well, I shouldn't complain. We had a lot of rain, and about 2 inches of snow. My girlfriend Barb who lives only about 30 miles from me had 22 INCHES!!!!!! And my daughter who's in Pa. had about the same. Sometimes living by the shore can be good. LOL That is unless the snow is comings off the ocean, then the nor' easter blows big time. This time we were spared.

I know I tend to find beauty in things others wouldn't find.... But the rain that came down froze, and when it did, if froze on my window screens. You should have seen it when the sun came out!!!! It was like I had a million crystals hanging from my windows!!!!!! So incredibly pretty!!!!! I'm going to miss it when it melts this week. LOL

I'm thinking about missing Shore Leave this year. I do have a room, I booked it as soon as I realized that I wasn't going there with Mary..... But, I've been introduced to another convention, that's in June. Now I have to decide which one I want to go to more.... Since 2 in such a short time isn't possible.

Hummmmmmm, the other one is supposed to have a lot of really fine men at it, lots of Goth type stuff, a really nice hotel with a roof top pool, a dealers room that is supposed to be one of the best around with some really weird but nice stuff for sale, and the best thing is that it's really close!!!! Less then an hour away.

Now shore leave has the same old men, mostly fat, stupid, and quite a few handicapped. (plus the same people go there year after year, so you don't get the new people coming at all!) The hotel is the same one I've been going to for years, and the staff really doesn't treat the people that nice, the rooms are usually a little dirty, and the food..... Well, it's not bad, but not creative at all. Plus the fact that the "party in every room" has calmed down a bit, and it's hard to find one that doesn't have a variety of geeks and freaks in it. LOL And I do mean that with love, geeks and freaks are not all that bad.... But it's always the same old thing.

Most of my friends from the "same old con" won't be coming this year. One passed away, and the other has to work, and my main man doesn't like to take that long ride from VA. To come to it. Though my other friends are going to be there, they are not my first choice for hanging around with. LOL Years and years I used to sit in the bar and I had like 20-30 people hanging with me. But the last two years I went with another friend, and none of my other friends wanted to hang out!!!! I found out later that They thought she was a bit weird, and .... Well, it doesn't matter.

So this year I would be back with my old friends, because she's not hanging with me. LOL I guess it's right that there are blessings in disguise. You know, I never realized that my other friends were staying away because of her!!! I guess it just never hit me. Until I told them what was going on, and that I wouldn't be hanging with her... THEN everyone spoke up! Could have said something sooner guys!!!

But back to the other convention. I may just try it. It's something new, and different. Sometimes I don't react well to "new and different" Most people don't know this, but I'm really shy!!! Yeah, SHY. Everytime I go to a new place or meet new people, I have to force myself to socialize. By the end of the evening I'm usually exhausted from trying so hard.... But I refuse to let my shyness control me. And if I'm left alone, I pick a nice dark corner and hide. GIGGLE But, if it was up to me..... Sitting home with a dozen good books, is more appealing than anything!!! You can thank my best friend Barbara for me even tying!!! She refused to let me be shy, and spent years getting me out of it. And it has worked, but only if I try real hard. LOL

But, I'm thinking hard about the other convention. I already promised to go to the June one, the new one. I don't have to cancel my room for the old one, till sometime in May or June, so I'm keeping it till then. Maybe I'll have the cash to go to both.... We shall see!

Valentine's Day by the Zodiac

by Stephanie Dempsey

There are few better ways to celebrate love and romance than with a hot date. Of course, what constitutes a hot date for a domestic Cancer could translate to a yawn-fest for adventurous Sagittarius. If you’d like to avoid disaster and fuel the right romantic heat, check out the following suggestions for the best dates by sign.


Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Aries needs to go where the action is. Nothing less than the hottest play, the hippest club, or the trendiest restaurant will do. If you move heaven and earth to get the Ram into an exclusive venue, you’ll be repaid with passionate kisses.

Want to reignite a long-term relationship? Take Aries someplace you’ve never been before. The venue doesn’t have to be conventionally romantic; a boxing match or the stock car races may well appeal to this extremist sign. A controversial movie is also a good bet, as Rams love the vociferous arguments that usually ensue after such flicks.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus likes tradition, so anything involving flowers, chocolate, and poetry is sure to appeal to their sensual senses. Of course, Bulls are not willing to settle for chintzy tokens. Quality is everything to this sign. That means roses instead of carnations, Godiva rather than Russell Stover and Shakespeare most definitely in lieu of Hallmark.

If you’d like to add spice to a well-seasoned relationship, take your favorite Bull out to a comedy club. Laughter always puts this sign in the mood for love. Of course, you’ll want to follow up with dinner at the finest restaurant in town. Choose a place with tablecloths, candlelight and soft music.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
People-watching is a favorite sport of Gemini. If you’d like to capture this sign’s imagination, propose taking in a session of night court together. You’re sure to encounter some terrific characters there, making for great dinner conversation afterward. Take The Twins to an eatery that is bustling with activity, like a popular bistro or hip café. Gemini likes to be where the action is.

Want to turn up the heat on a committed relationship? Keep mum about your date plans, no matter how hard your lover begs and pleads. Slip a black silk blindfold over their eyes and then escort him or her to the bowling alley, miniature golf course, or karaoke bar. The more lighthearted the venue, the more fun you’ll have.


Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Cancer is the caretaker of the zodiac. And while this sign is usually found attending to the needs of others, Moon Children secretly want to be on the receiving end of tender loving care. Go ahead and grant this wish by treating your favorite Crab to a day at the spa. It’s a great way to win Cancer’s everlasting devotion.

If you’re in a committed relationship with a Cancer, rekindle your romance with a trip to a flea market, antique fair, or estate sale. This sign loves being surrounded by things from bygone days. Moon Children also can’t resist a good bargain. If your lover is lucky enough to pick up some rare and collectable trinket, you can be sure their bliss will carry over into the bedroom!

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Leo expects the royal treatment every day of the year, but especially so on a special night out. Plan something alluring for your favorite Lion, whether it’s a hot air balloon ride at sunset or a horse and carriage ride through the park. The best way to impress this date is to demonstrate that you’ve put a little extra thought and effort into your outing.

Want to do something extra special for your committed Leo lover? Go someplace where he or she can strut their stuff and get oodles of ogling -- like the ballet, symphony, or Oscar Awards. Don’t grumble if you have to wear a tuxedo or evening gown. Act like you’re Leo’s most precious accessory and you can’t go wrong on this date.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Actions speak louder than words with Virgo. If you want to make a good impression on this sign, cook a gourmet dinner featuring the freshest ingredients from the local market. Craft a card with your own two hands using stylish recycled paper and super glue. Forget cut flowers that will wither within days. Instead, lovingly present a potted perennial safely cushioned in ceramic.

If you’re already involved with a Virgo, give the gift of service. Offer to relieve your lover of some dreaded chore for the next month. Be sure to live by your word, though. Nothing puts Virgo’s nose out of joint like a broken promise!

Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Libra’s looking for a lover that embodies style and sophistication. If you’ve got good moves, show them off on the dance floor or on the ice rink. If you’re a klutz, rent a luxury car and go for a spin through the countryside. Be sure to wear something special on your date ... Librans have a deep appreciation for stylish clothes that feature rich fabrics and flattering cuts.

If you’d like to pay tribute to a long-standing Libran lover, do it with jewelry. Monogrammed cufflinks or drop earrings are sure to make this sign’s eyes sparkle as brightly as diamonds. Choose something elegant and simple…Libras have the last word on good taste!

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio doesn’t mess around when it comes to love. If you’re planning to ask out this sign, propose a place that is conducive to deep conversation. Reserve a corner table at a candlelit restaurant that plays soft, sensual jazz. Have three or four probing questions ready, like “If you were stranded on a desert island, what’s the one book you would take?” or “Which has a bigger influence on you: friends or family?” The more thought-provoking your queries, the better your date will go.

In the event you’re in a long-term relationship with a Scorpio, rekindle the flames of passion with the gift of lingerie. This sign is also fond of bedroom toys of all shapes and sizes. Scorpions like water sports, so a scented bubble bath is also a good way to boil up some steamy romance.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Sagittarians are hopeless animal lovers. If you’d like to make a good impression on an Archer, get tickets to a dog or cat show. Better yet, plan a day of horseback riding. If you’re skittish around four-footed creatures, Sag will be happy to act as an intermediary. This sign adores introducing people to new worlds.

Want to keep the love alive between you and Sagittarius? Plan a camping trip together. Swallow your complaints and criticisms if you loathe living outdoors; if there’s anything Archers can’t stand, it’s a party pooper. A trip to a place neither of you has ever visited is also a good bet, as Sagittarians love to travel.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Dating is a serious business to Capricorn. The best way to capture this sign’s heart is to suggest a destination that involves some investment on your part. Choose a restaurant that requires reservations. If you don’t have a lot of money, you can always propose a nature walk. Although such an outing doesn’t cost anything, it does demonstrate a serious commitment in getting to know Capricorn.

If you’re in a long-term relationship with a Goat, give him or her a lasting token of your affection. Capricorn is an Earth sign, which suggests a deep appreciation of gemstones. Even a pair of geode bookends can elicit a delighted smile from this sign. A multi-faceted paperweight is also a good possibility, since Capricorns love gifts that are both useful and beautiful.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Special dates might not mean much to Aquarius, who is short on sentimentality. Still, if you demonstrate a deep appreciation for this sign’s offbeat sensibilities, you’re sure to make inroads to the Water-bearer’s heart. Propose a midnight croquet match. Crash somebody’s wedding reception. Better yet, head for a local fast-food restaurant and deck your table with silverware, candlesticks, and fine china.

To add zest to a committed relationship, look through cookbooks and choose a meal that neither one of you has ever prepared before. Go shopping together and fix a gourmet feast for the two of you. Water-bearers are excellent collaborators, and enjoy embarking on new adventures.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Pisces and romance go together like strawberries and cream. If you’d like to treat this sign to a night they’ll never forget, take a yoga class together. Yoga is a great way to open the mind and heart to the possibility of love. Alternately, you can invite your favorite Fish over for a romantic movie and dessert. Making chocolate fondue together can be very conducive to kissing and cuddling.

To pay tribute to a committed Pisces lover on a special occasion, write out the story of your relationship and have it bound into a beautiful book. Be sure to include photographs, concert tickets, wedding announcements, party invitations and any other mementoes that elicit fond memories of your time together.

Use's for Condoms

I thought this was kinda weird and thought I would share. LOL

Field workers use them as disposable water containers to hold water for washing hands after going to the bathroom.
The military covers tank and gun barrels with condoms to prevent dust from entering.
Road builders mix condoms with concrete and tar to make shiny, crack-resistant roads.
Roofers lay a sheet of condoms underneath the cement-concrete mortar to prevent leaks.
Weavers go through 200,000 condoms a day to lubricate looms and polish thread used to make saris.
In South America, drug mules swallow condoms filled with drugs to smuggle them into the U.S.
In Thailand, a model wore head piece made of colorful condoms arranged in an orchid design.
All over the world, some kids use them to make water balloons, while others have been caught putting one over the exhaust pipe.
At least one writer uses them to cover smoke alarms in hotel rooms and trains.
Quentin Tarantino used Chinese condoms filled with fake blood to film "Kill Bill."

Hormone's and Chocolate

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all
a man has to do is open his mouth, and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide, that should be as common as a driver's license in the
wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff...... ..And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect



And remember: Money talks...Chocolate sings.

Birth Signs RULE!!!

Did you know that parts of your body are ruled by your birth sign??? I did, I've always know that Pisces are ruled by their feet. I always pay special attention to them, especially when I rub or massage them. This keep me balanced. So here are your signs and what rules them. Remember to take special care of the part of your body, massage it every day, and keep it safe from bumps and such.

ARIES: The Head and the Face

Of various persons he could be a welder,
or even a well-known village elder
He could lead both friends and foes
if he could but wait before he crows!

TAURUS: The Throat and Neck

Loves love, art, and money
fine clothes for self and honey
can build and design
create something fine

GEMINI: The shoulders, Lungs, and Arms

Like his twin, he is a sitter
whose mind is mostly all a twitter
he hates to til, he likes to chat
a salesman type, a diplomat

CANCER: The Breast and Stomach

Happy at home or on a boat
where the cuisine is not routine
guests appreciate the table d'hote
and your year will be serene

LEO: The Heart

leo will be something great
perhaps a general, just you wait
but if he takes command of thee
you'll share your gold deliberately

VIRGO: The Lower Intestines (yes, you can massage that.... eat a lot of whole grains, and roughage)

For details and the like
needing lots of common sense
take a Virgo down your pike
and be happy now and thence

LIBRA: The Loins (I don't know anyone of my friends who doesn't massage THAT every once and a while! Giggle)

neither too little nor too much
all is done with even touch
libra's taste is surely best
disputes he'll put to final rest

SCORPIO: The Generative Organs

who else in the world can unravel the maze?
who plots and succeeds while the other side plays
Scorpio you are always out front
of discoveries you are always a fount

SAGITTARIUS: The Thighs

A good counselor, great on research
often speaks from a very high perch
honest, direct, guided by Jupiter
for a teacher or preacher, who can be fitter?

CAPRICORNUS: The Knee's

Here's the pro, the man of affairs
likes the publicity, puts on airs
don't be worried, we love you still
but have some fun, a little won't kill

AQUARIUS: The Legs

up to date and of great visions
the world does need these modern technicians
likeable, friendly, honest, gentle
this year for you is experimental

PISCES: The Feet

Just by instinct, Pisces detects
those special secrets with special effects
all will be merry, all will be jolly
if the problems of others don't become your folly