My sad lament

This is my sad lament.... I'm depressed, more so then usual.  And, people don't understand it!  They say I'm always cheerfull, and happy..... but I'm not.

I am the Invisible Woman.

Years and years ago, in a land far far away... being invisible was my job.  I had to get in, do my job, and get out without anyone noticing me.  And considering the younger me was SUPER HOT... it was hard work being invisible... but I did it, and did it well, or I wouldn't be alive today.

Over the years I've managed to slip off part of that shield of invisibility... but not all, of it. Too ingrained in my life to go away completely.

Sure, I have friends, in real life and on facebook.... but I'm still invisible. 

I don't know if it's because most of my men friends are gay...

and people mistake me for being in a relationship with them...

since we've been friends for years and years... I guess, it could seem like we are a couple, when we hang out.

But, that can't be all of it. 

I'm sad to admit... I haven't had a date, a hug, hot sex, or even a freaking kiss in over 10 years!!!!!!

10 YEARS.  I miss it, I miss it so damn much that.... depression happens.

I can't figure out why?  Maybe the Goddess has plans for me... maybe I'm just so UGLY that men are totally turned off when with me?

I'm always friendly, well groomed, smell nice.....Maybe it's my aura fucking me up.

Either way.... it's not a good place, or a way to live.  It sucks the big one!  Someday I'll pass away, and maybe some people will notice that I'm gone... and maybe even miss me... though that's doubtful... I'm not that impressive to have left a lasting mark on anyone's life. 

Do not take this as suicide depression... I'm not stupid, and I will enjoy all the time I have left... but, it's not as much fun, being alone.