Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Pain the the......... Just name it!

It seems that almost everyone has a body part or function, that gives them fits all their lives.

My girlfriend Barb, it's her feet.... she has bone spurs, and constant problems with them

With me it's my EARS!!! 30 YEARS AGO.... yes, I said 30 years ago, I actually had surgery on my ears to insert tubes into them. The surgery was fine on one side, the other side... not so much, the tube came out within days of the surgery........ so It's my fucking PAIN IN THE ASS!!!

My ears get blocked.... ANYTHING can cause it... washing my hair, swimming, having a slight allergy attack, even sometimes just sleeping on that side will cause it..... so every month or so it's off to the doctors...... TADAAAA EAR INFECTION!!!

The doctor give me antibiotics.... but only for a few days.... I have yet to convince a doctor that I need MORE then just the regular dosage.... so after a few weeks....IT'S BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!

I don't know if you've ever had a blocked ear.... BUT IT DRIVES YOU MAD! It feels like that whole side of your face is filled with super putty, you can't hear well, it feels disgusting, you can hear your heart beat in that ear, and that's freaky.... and if it pops, and drains.... yeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww that feel disgusting too!!!

The last time I went to a doctor that specializes in ears was 30 years ago.... since then I've just gone to doctors when it gets infected.... at least once a month.

WHY haven't I gone to a specialist????? I have no freaking clue.... no doctor, I've ever seen, has recommended it... so I just didn't.

But I HAVE HAD IT!!!! I'm going to a specialist as soon as I can call one in the morning!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Cave man vs Modern man

I was at the mall with my girlfriend yesterday.... and she seem "obsessed" with finding me a "good man". I don't know why??? She's in a great marriage, has no kids, and doing fine.... why must she try to do the same for me?

But, I digress, she was nudging and poking me, every time some cute man waked past. "Is that your type, do you like him, isn't he cute?" I'm NOT in high school anymore.... CUTE.... is not what I'm looking for.

In almost every case of guys she pointed out.... they were on the phone, texting, working on a laptop....... and so on......

So, I decided to make a list of what kind a man I would fall for.


2. I won't talk to a man on a cell phone, cheaters, players, use cells.... give me a land line phone #, and you have a chance.

3. Can you start a fire, without match's?

4. Can you hunt, and actually catch something? Do you know how to fish?

5. Do you know how to cook?

6. Are you neat and clean, but not obsessive?

7. In an emergency, would you panic?

8. Do you know how to survive without technology?

9. Are you clean, fragrance clear (hate aftershave smells)

10. Are you in good shape? (weight doesn't matter, if you chubby and can still run, dance, and do stuff...good enough)

11. Can you keep my interest? (guys who do things, or tell story's.. over and over, and over are disgusting!)

12. Are you interested in me, and what I am, or are they too busy staring at my boobs?

13. Do you think all women are soft and need protection? (YUCK!!!)

14. Do you value my opinion?

15. Do you take charge.... gently... not oppressively. (like pick something to do... then ask if I'd like to do it... not leave all decisions up to me!)

16. Do you have an imagination??? (that's important.... most men are so dull they have no clue what fun is!)

17. And the most important one... do you do the beach, and water? If you don't...

I guess on the pro and con list, I lean more towards the "Cave man", then "modern man"!

What about you???? What type do you go for???

Monday, November 28, 2011


yes, I can!!!!! And I'm damn proud of it!!!!

WANT ONE!!!!!!!

Sunday, November 27, 2011


The stocking is hung by the chimney with great care!


Cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, yule
pine scented log, our winter fuel.
oranges, nuts, and mulling spice
holly and ivy, greenery twice.
fires and family snuggled tight,
together and loving this longest of nights.
frost and snow twinkle without,
faces of love contain little doubt.
holding these friends and family close
with love and care in equal dose.
so now upon this magical night,
warm within watching starlight.
spices rare, and incense burns,
celebrate, with joy, a world that turns!

Friday, November 25, 2011

Wishing for Yule

Since Yule is almost here, I figured we could all use a little help with getting the gifts we want.


wondering magic bring to me,

in this life the luck I need,

so all my angles can be seen,

and thus fulfill my every dream,

combined earth and fire,

bring forth my hearts desire,

guardians of the sea, keep all harm from me.

This should be done while lighting 4 candles of the proper color to represent what your wishing for. Repeat the above words 3 times to bring good luck and obtain your hearts desire.


Take any large bowl. Drip a few drops of different colored candle wax in the bottom of the bowl, then adhere a white candle to that spot.

The different colors represent diverse needs and goals, while the white binds this variety together in harmony.

Each morning, light the candle when you get up and put a coin in the bowl. Make your wish for the day. Blow out the candle before you leave the house.

Whenever you desperately need to have a wish fulfilled, remove a coin from the bowl and either plant it in rich soil (houseplants will do ) or throw it into moving water so that your message of need will be carried through the earth.

When the bowl is filled with coins, use all but a few (these "seeds" always remain in your bowl) for random acts of kindness, like getting treats for the neighborhood kids or helping a homeless person. Your generosity will return to you threefold!


The Great Outdoors (This could be your back yard, a park, or forest -- any place where the wishing powder will land on the earth when you release it).

Anything else you feel you need to personalize your wish. You will need to craft the wishing powder ahead of time.

Do this at home in a Circle or, if you don't mind taking your mortal and pestle along with you, you can make it outside where you plan to use it. (This isn't too hard to do if you're staying in your own backyard).

2 parts sage * 1 part sandalwood * 1 part Tonka beans Grind, mix, and empower.

If you're feeling adventurous, customize your wishing powder to the wish you'll be making. (Example: Crushed rose petals for bringing love into your life).

Find a spot to make our wishes from. Take a handful of the wishing powder and begin concentrating on your wishes.

Put your energy and wish into the powder you are holding. When it feels like you can no longer hold the energy, let it fly. As the powder settles to the ground, visualize your wishes joining with the Earth, gaining power and strength.

As always, remember the Rule of Three when making your wish. After putting the energy out there, it's impossible to call it back. Remember the old saying, "Be careful what you wish for, you may get it."

Where to get Tonka Beans? You can do an easy search for them through any search engine to find them. Or use Vanilla Beans/pods as a Substitute

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Things Dr.'s refuse to tell you!

There are such little, natural things you can do for your health, that the doctors refuse to tell you about..... mainly cause if it ain't pills.... they don't care!!!

So take your pills, but do the natural thing at the same time to help them work!!!

Banana's: If you take high blood pressure pills or water pills.... eat one a day

They are also great for Crones disease! Feel it coming on.... eat a banana.

Works great for irritable bowl syndrome too.

And little know fact, if you keep eating the banana's when you feel an attack coming on..... the attacks get less and less and less.... till in some, they go away!

Molasses: Super high in Iron and potassium!!! Tastes terrible.... but once a week, put a tablespoon in a half a glass of milk, and drink it down!!! Yuckkkk! It will keep you feeling fine and energised!!! And won't rip your tummy apart like regular Iron pills! Great when your pregnant, getting older, or just run down!

Yogurt: Any kind of antibiotic, you must take yogurt with it.... don't like the stuff, take the yogurt pills..... prone to yeast infections? Yogurt a day helps prevent them.

Cranberry's: Fantastic for bladder or kidney infections.... Make sure it's 100% juice, not the fake stuff..... Just drink a large glass or two every day

Cherry's: got Gout??? eat dried cherry's or fresh ones to cut you gout attack in more then half! sometimes preventing a flair up from even starting!!!

Taking a pain killer, such as Tylenol does NOTHING, except kill the pain for muscle strains or inflammation.... You MUST take aspirin... aspirin reduces inflammation, Tylenol doesn't!

Surgery: Massage your scars!!!! Even when it's still stapled and fresh. Massaging the surrounding area prevents scar tissue from forming, and can make the resulting scar less noticeable, and puckered. I know it's painful, but DO IT!

Zinc: We all know what it does for the immune system... but most people take it every day!!! NO NO NO!!! Take ONE zinc pill a MONTH!!! Same rewards, but less of the complications it can cause you... like killing you! Moderation when it comes to Zinc!

And the old wives tale "an apple a day keeps the Dr. away" is true... you need the roughage!!! One apple a day will keep you clean and healthy..... P.S. Don't eat the pits!! They are poison. But DO eat the skin!!! No matter how much you hate skin (like I do) peeling the apple is the worst thing you can do!

And for all of you with Sulfur allergies.... CLEAN ALL FRUIT!!! Most fruit now is treated with sulfur to keep it from spoiling!!!

Wash it away!!! You mommy used to tell you that to wash off the pesticides, now it's for keeping sulfur from building up in your body!

And DO eat nuts!!!! But only a handful a day.... people who snack too much on nuts have been misdiagnosed with Gall Bladder problems.... to many nuts, mimic this uncomfortable syndrome!!

So if you doctor says it's your Gall Bladder.... check you NUT intake before doing anything!!!! Sometime just stopping the munching will prevent unnecessary surgery!!!

Kidney stone: White Flour and Sugar Products are a NO NO! Lack of vitamin A and an excessive intake of vitamin D is a MAJOR CAUSE! Tone it down, and take it up!

Avoid foods like alcoholic beverages; condiments and pickles; certain vegetables like cucumber, radish.

natural treatment: Kidney beans, also known as dried French beans or Rajmah, are regarded as a very effective home remedy for kidney problems, including kidney stones. The method prescribed to prepare the medicine is to remove the beans from inside the pods, then slice the pods and put about sixty grams in four litre of hot water, boiling them slowly for six hours. This liquid should be strained through fine muslin and then allowed to cool for about eight hours. Thereafter the fluid should be poured through another piece of muslin without stirring.A glass of this decoction should be given to the patient every two hours throughout the day for one day and, thereafter, it may be taken several times a week. This decoction would not work if it was more than twenty-four hours old. The pods could be kept for longer periods but once they were boiled, the therapeutic factor would disappear after one day.

Basil has a strengthening effect on the kidneys.In case of kidney stones, one teaspoon each of basil juice and honey should be taken daily for six months. It has been found that stones can be expelled from the urinary tract by this treatment.

Research has shown the remarkable therapeutic success of vitamin B6 in the treatment of kidney Stones. A daily therapeutic does of 100 to 150 mg of vitamin B6, preferably, combined with other B complex vitamins, should be continued for several months for getting a permanent cure.

Monday, November 21, 2011

My Favorite winter soup!

This is my favorite soup for cold winter nights! It's hot, and spicy, and just plain yummmy!

Remember I'm Russian, so while it may seem strange to you.... you have GOT to try it!!!

1 large package of skinny ribs (don't use country ribs!!!! the skinny ones are the best)
1 or 2 large cans of sauerkraut (don't use the one in bags, the flavor isn't the same, go for the cans!) How many can you use depend on how much soup you want to make
1 large container of sour cream
salt and pepper to taste
Water to cover

Cut the ribs into pieces of 4 or 5 ribs at a time
place in large pot, with enough water to cover them, and bring to a boil
Let cook for 15 minutes..... then lower heat.

Add the large cans of sauerkraut (with the juice) and bring to a slow rolling boil for about 1/2 hour.

Add enough water to bring it almost to the top of the pan, usually 3 of the empty cans of sauerkraut

Add salt and pepper to taste (lots of pepper is best, but it's up to you)

then add the large container of sour cream, making sure to do it slowly, and stir, stir, stir.

Reduce heat to a low simmer, and let it cook for about an hour.

There you have it, tangy, creamy, and good. I always eat the soup, and save the ribs till the last.... the longer they are in the soup, the softer and better they are!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Lasagna Confessions

My son was a very, very, happy boy when I told him that I'm making one or his favort foods for Thanksgiving..... Lasagna!

Now, on my blog, I have a HUGE confession!!!!

I'm Russian and Chinese.... we don't do sticking Lasagna!!!!


But, newly married, and the hubby says he wants me to make it...... I figured I would give it a go.

And I did, and it was fantastic!!!

So good that I made it for the Green room at a Star Trek convention.....

and Scotty, from Star Trek, went out and told a packed auditorium....

"I'm from NY, but I just had the best Lasagna in my LIFE, in the green room!!"

I was so thrilled, and from then on my friends called me the "Cook of the stars".

But that's not my confession..... the recipe is.

To start out I bought Ricotta cheese..... Lasagna is made with it .... right?

WRONG!!! It had the most disgusting taste I've ever had. Not Italian, don't like it!!! BLAAAAA

So I did my usual thing.... AND WINGED IT!

The night before making it, I would put two huge containers of "Cottage Cheese" in a bowl..... yes, you heard me COTTAGE CHEESE. Then I would mix it with tons of spices, garlic salt, oregano, parsley, and onion salt. And let it sit over night.

Then I made Jar spaghetti sauce, (always add an extra 1/2 cup of water to it... you want it loose!) add some extra of the same spices, and a pound of ground beef, and let it cook.

Now, the lasagna package say to pre -cook the noodles.

WHAT!!! that's more fucking work, so I just ignored it.

uncooked noodles, cottage cheese, sauce, and so on and on.

At the end I did add sliced mozzarella cheese to the top, but that's it.

And I covered it with alunimun foil, and baked it.

I took off the cover when it was almost finished to let it brown a bit.

AND NO ONE BUT YOU GUYS KNOW THIS!!! I made it for party's, and family gatherings, and all kinds of things, and know one EVER guessed that I use Cottage Cheese instead of Ricotta!!!!!!!!!

So don't tell anyone! OK?

Friday, November 18, 2011

The "Boy"

The boy is home for Thanksgiving, so I won't be posting much! sigh

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Ahhhhh the 50's

No one could have survived the 50's without meds!!!

They did keep you warm!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Ice Cream!!!

I've been making my own ice cream. I'm tired of having to read every ingredient, on every box of ice cream, and finding out later it had something I was allergic to in it.

So I found this recipe for Indian Ice Cream.... It wasn't complicated, but it did use.... milk....evaporated milk.....heavy cream.... and so on.

It was way to rich to my tummy!!

And one day I was sitting there looking at some frozen blueberry's I had, and said.... what the hell... I'm going to try something!

Out came my blender.... I put the blueberry's (still frozen) in it, a little sugar, and then just added some whole milk...... and whipped the holy shit out of it!!!

It was all fluffy, and foamy. COOL

I poured the fluffy stuff into a glass bowl, and stuck it in my freezer.

Every hour or so, I would stir up the ice cream, getting the frozen and not so frozen mixed together, and scraping the sides down (cause the sides freeze faster you know)

I found that stirring it gently allowed it to stay fluffy and foamy while freezing.... and when it was done...........YUMMMMMMMMMMM!

For those old bats out there, I can tell you it tasted like frozen "Junket Rennet Custard"!!!! OMG it's fantastic!!! You younger ladies will have no idea what Junket Rennet Custard is, I don't think they have made it in ages....but believe me it's good!

Cold and creamy, and fluffy.... and no secret ingredients to cause my allergy's to flair.

Last batch I made with "Hersey's special dark chocolate syrup" I'M IN LOVE!!!!!!

sending out to the universe.....

Just to be clear...... I DO NOT KNOW ANYONE IN NIGERIA!!! And I will not help you with your money, or your blessing!!!!

And if your going to send me a letter about a urgent matter at my bank.....MAKE SURE IT'S ACTUALLY A BANK I USE!!!

And, NO, nothing is wrong with my AOL account (I don't have one) and NO, I did not buy a 5000 dollar TV on E-Bay.

And no matter what you think.... I DO NOT WANT TO SEE NUDE PHOTO'S OF YOU!!!

And a Post Office..."fail to deliver" why would the post office send me a E-MAIL??? They do NOT have my e-mail address..... just my street address....DUUUUHHHHH!!

I will not click on your link to join you on face book, dating sites, or another thing.... I don't click links!!! If you read my blog you can join me on face book..... but some stranger who wants ME to click to join THEM is outta luck!

And tape recorded "Suzy" I don't NOT want my carpets cleaned

And tape recorded "Mary" you can't have an important message about my credit card....CAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY CREDIT CARDS!!!!

And, NO, the FBI will not contact you by E-Mail.... if they want to talk to you they will knock on your door, not send out random E-Mails!!!

And the same goes for UPS, Federal Express, and the post office..... no one in their right mind would give out a persons e-mail address instead of a phone number.... for non existing packages that a non existing person is sending you!!!!!

Dear Spam:


Thank you!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Blessing Spells


Bake a fresh loaf of bread. Hold it up to the moon and ask the lady to bless the bread as well as the relationship. Break off a piece of the bread for your partner, as well as one for yourself as well. As you share time together, share the bread as well. Do not cut the bread with a knife or any other cutting tool. Just break off the pieces with your hands. Adding butter or jam might be a good idea to help sweeten things up a bit.


When presenting your house spirits with offerings of incense, candles or what not you can say this little chant:

"Wraith of the house, Take heart and live, To every chamber This light I give, To every corner This breath I send Approve and favor my willing hand."


" Oh Great Ones, My Goddess and my God, I call upon you, In need of your help, Bless this water, (Hold up small bowl of water.) Bless this water, With you power, With you purification, With you healing powers, Bless this water (put bowl down, and now use the water for power, purification and healing) With the water you so blessed, May this harm none, The spell is done, So mote it be and blessed be ."


Dwelling of Stone, Metal, Wood and Earth Silent One, Protective One, you of the four winds Dwelling of Health, Wealth Joy and Peace: Guardian Sustained you of the Earth Dwelling of Stone Metal Wood and Earth Secure One Peaceful One You of the Guarded and protected you be Cleansed and pure you be Peaceful and loving you be It is finished in Beauty It is finished in Beauty It is finished in Beauty

Cooking without Wheat!!!!

When it comes to cooking and baking, you don't have to limit yourself to gluten-free cookbooks just because you have Celiac disease or a wheat allergy. In fact, most recipes can be easily made without gluten, a protein found in wheat, rye and barley products. Here's how to convert a recipe to gluten-free.

Step 1: Swap the flour
Substitute all-purpose gluten-free flour in place of all-purpose regular flour at a ratio of 1:1. Coconut flour is fantastic for this! Try Bob's Red Mill all-purpose gluten-free flour. If you are baking items such as cakes and/or breads, add 1 teaspoon xanthan gum.

Step 2: Eliminate the flour
Try omitting the flour altogether. If you are craving peanut butter cookies, for example, try this simple recipe: 1 cup peanut butter, 1 cup sugar and 1 to 2 eggs (depending on how moist you want them to be). Blend ingredients and bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes. Yield: six to eight cookies. (most health food stores also carry a Egg Substitute, that has absolutely NO eggs in it.... you'll have to experiment, but it works pretty good!)

Step 3: Create flour mixture
In place of flour in a recipe try a combination of 3 parts white or brown rice flour, 2 parts potato starch and 1 part tapioca flour/starch. Add 1 teaspoon of xanthan gum for every 1 1/2 cups of the flour mixture. (since I'm allergic to all of the above ingredients.... I use COCONUT FLOUR! You have to lessen the amount of sugar, but it works great!)

Step 4: Consider arrowroot powder
Arrowroot powder is another ingredient that can be used in place of xanthan gum, if you are having a hard time finding the latter. As a general rule, use one-half teaspoon of arrowroot powder for each cup of wheat flour called for in any recipe.

Note: Round up if the recipe calls for a partial cup.

Step 5: Experiment with ingredients
Other ingredients in the recipe may need to be adjusted when trying new flours and flour combinations.

For example, use 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder for every cup of flour used in a recipe. Some flours also may be a bit dryer, so you may have to add additional liquid ingredients such as water or oil, depending on what the recipe calls for.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

UGH!! Ranting now!!!

My sister royally pissed me off yesterday...... but I pretended she didn't.... but BOY, SHE DID!!!

We were talking about Christmas.... and she said "JUST DON'T GET ME JUNK THIS YEAR!"


All I ever get from her is CRAP!!!!

Ugly, useless items..... even her taste in jewelry SUCKS!!!!

I say "ohhhhh, how pretty!!!! Thank you!!!"


But I would never let her know that..... because I'm not that type of person.... a gift is a gift, even if you hate it, I would never let the other person know.......

The only times I've gotten something nice from her, was when we were shopping, and I actually picked something out myself, and she got it for me..... JUST 2 TIMES!!!

Once was a bracelet, and the other was an owl..... but she seems to think it was a million times.

I think over the years I've gotten every gift SHE was given, and she hated, so she gave to me!!!!

I've never used the ugly jewelry she's given me, or the purse's. Oh, and don't forget the disgusting "crab lights" and I could go on and on. I did like a spoon rest she got me, it was chipped big time, but I still used it.

This year I'm just going to get her a gift certificate..... I was going to get a BIG one for her, at her fav. shoe store...... but that's not going happen.... she's gonna get a small one, at a crap store. She hates wall-mart, so I should get her one there.

Well, probably not, cause I can't be a jerk even if I want to..... I'll still get her a nice one..... oh and ahhh over the crap she gives me.... and live with it!!!!

Oh I should mention, she once gave me a cute little wooden box, with Celtic symbols on it.... THAT WAS THE ONLY ITEM I'VE EVER LIKED FROM HER!!!!! And the only one I ever kept!! Besides the two things I picked out myself that is, they rocked!

Even when I was a kid, she always got me clothing to small, or too short for me! WTF I actually remember some of the HORROR outfits she got me, and how I was forced to wear them.... even though they were disgusting, and ill fitting.... I still wore them at least once!!

And don't for a minute think she has bad taste.... SHE DOESN'T! The stuff she gets herself is fantastic, and cute, and wonderful....... so, you can see what she thinks of me, right?????

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Changed my mind

Instead of a laptop I got a "a TABLET" !!!!

Nice and small, about the size of a hardcover book.

Now, I can sit in the living room, watch TV, and still go on line!!!

It was a lot cheaper then a laptop, and I can take it anywhere!!!!

The only thing that don't like, is that I'm a trained the smaller keyboard, and the hunt and peck method of typing is a little hard to get used to ......but I will manage!!!

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

I'm gonna do it!!!!!!

I've finally decided, after all these years, to get a lap top computer!!!

my desk top one is in my bedroom, and to use it, I go in, close the door (so the cat doesn't get in) and that it...... cut off from everything!!!! Can't hear or see the TV, can't hear the doorbell ring.... cut off!!!

Recently I was wishing I could sit on my patio and work with the computer, or just sit in front of the TV and play my games, take it to conventions, or blog....... ANYTHING but sit in my bedroom!!!

The house already is wireless for my son's computer.... SO WHY NOT!

So, I think I'm going to get one, and that's that!!!!!

And they are so cheap now!!! For around $300 I can get one that's better then the computer I'm using now!!!

Sunday, November 06, 2011

My mood this morning

Yes, I know I'm such a "nice person".... but there is someone I'm really disliking right about now!!!

A pushy BITCH, who thinks she can push me aside and do what she wants to! People, learn a lesson..... DON'T PUSH ME ASIDE!!! I get PISSED!!!!!

I won't do anything really bad to her...... at least not yet...... but it's coming to that point that someone (me, that is) is going to have to show her who the "Top Dog" is...... and this dog bites!!!!

Thursday, November 03, 2011

What is your question?

This here is, "seeing into the future cat".....

ask him a question..... any question.....

and check back on comments for his answer! (of course I will translate them)

It may be a good answer, or a bad one, or just a gigantic hairball hock up.... but your will get an answer!!!!!

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

you want me to do WHAT!!!!

I'm NOT your freaking Fairy Godmother!!!!!

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Thanksgiving Side Dishes by your Sign

Thanksgiving Side Dishes by your Sign

Thanksgiving is fast approaching — time to plan your feast! Fill your holiday table with gastronomic delights to please the stars... the celestial stars that is.

Check the birthdays of everyone on your guest list and then select enticing recipes to match their astrological tastes. The suggestions below take you through all 12 signs of the zodiac. You may find new favorites for yourself, too, and start a fresh tradition!

Aries (March 21 - April 19)Steamed Brocolini with Garlic Lemon Butter & Savory Pumpkin SoupAries individuals will be starving when they arrive at your door because their forceful, fiery nature burns through food at a rapid rate. These Rams are remarkably gregarious and will be delighted with whatever you choose to quench their hearty appetite. But they do love extravagant foods and pungent spices drive them wild. So serve them Steamed Brocolini with Garlic Lemon Butter and Savory Pumpkin Soup. Champagne will also be a big hit if you have it, but red wine will do nicely.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)Candied Yams & Cranberry Fruit SaladTaureans make courteous guests with their desire for simple, earthy foods... plus they are not picky eaters. In harmony with nature, determined and masterful, these Bulls have the ability to get along with everyone. Before dinner, you may find them showing off your garden to the guests, as they delight in the beauty nature provides. You can seduce them with voluptuous fruits, sensual delights and full-bodied wines. Include Candied Yams, Cranberry Fruit Salad and plenty of other courses because they like to leave the table satisfied.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)Wild Rice with Cranberries and Pecans & Orange-Pomegranate RelishGeminis love to be invited to dinner, sometimes more for the social occasion than the food. They are clever, quick-witted... and in their element when surrounded by family and friends. If there is a lull in conversation, don’t worry, with Geminis the banter never stops. The Twins have an intellectual response to food, but can be enticed with exotic ingredients, ethereal tastes and chilled white or sparkling wines. Wild Rice with Cranberries and Pecans, and Orange-Pomegranate Relish have what it takes to pique their curiosity.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)Biscuits & Mashed Yellow TurnipsWarm, nurturing, fun and outgoing, Crabs are an asset to any occasion. Make sure they know how yummy the food will be when you invite them, since the promise of a scrumptious meal will be more alluring than the graciousness of the host. They love foods that are comforting and almost any wine. Provide plenty – these guests have hearty appetites and will not want to miss a course. Tasty biscuits and Mashed Yellow Turnips are two comfort foods that will be greatly appreciated.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)Curried Creamed Onions & Spinach Salad with Oranges and WalnutsLeos enjoy being asked out to eat and are charismatic, fun-loving guests. Grand and luxurious evenings are most appealing. They want to be treated with the respect they feel they deserve, so the overall effect should be spectacular. These proud, self-confident Lions are generous, childish and loving and will be delighted with rich red wine – the best you can afford. For the dramatic tastes Leos will expect, serve Curried Creamed Onions, and Spinach Salad with Oranges and Walnuts.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)Corn Bread Stuffing & Green Bean CasseroleVirgos love an opportunity to be social and they get along with all types of people. Concerned with health and cleanliness, they can be very fussy about their food. But they will also be the ones most likely to stay behind and help clean the kitchen – so be sure to invite them! Virgins are open to new food ideas but they are also down-to-earth and not particularly extravagant, so serve them Corn Bread Stuffing and Green Bean Casserole.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)Black Eyed Peas with Sausage & Waldorf SaladLibras like to keep all their options open so they can go whichever way the wind blows, but if you can get a commitment to your invitation, it will be a very rewarding experience. People and surroundings are important to these charming, romantic and refined natives. The Scales have a burning desire for harmony, are concerned with fair play, and utilize their diplomatic skills to ensure the evening is full of laughter and stimulating conversation. Delight them with interesting dishes like Black Eyed Peas with Sausage and Waldorf Salad.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)Pecan Stuffing & Fig-Walnut SaladWhen you invite passionate Scorpios to dinner, be prepared to serve an excellent meal. They strive for perfection and will expect the same from you. Serve them plenty of rich red wine... and then be prepared, because they will tell you exactly what they think. When they say they loved your meal, you will know it is the truth. Serve them Pecan Stuffing and Fig-Walnut Salad to appeal to their mysterious side.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)Macaroni and Cheese with Parmesan Cheese Topping & Sage GravySagittarians can arrive at your door dripping from a rainstorm and still be enthusiastic and jovial – they have the ability to make the absolute best from any situation. These jokesters of the zodiac will be quite happy to provide the entertainment, as they love to be surrounded by people. They are extravagant and overindulgent, so have plenty of good wine on hand. Macaroni and Cheese with Parmesan Cheese Topping, and Sage Gravy will appeal to their zesty personalities.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)Collard Greens with Maple Cured Bacon & Roasted Root VegetablesWorkaholic Capricorns can be a challenge to get to your table... so tempt them with mention of the fine foods you will be serving. These guests possess a black sense of humor that can add just the twist your party needs. Caviar and champagne are two Capricorn favorites – but they love all kinds of foods, as long as they are high quality. The mixed, caramelized flavors of Collard Greens with Sweet Onion and Maple Cured Bacon, and Roasted Root Vegetables will satisfy their tastes.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)Garlic Mashed Potatoes; Baked Acorn SquashYou will want to have at least one Aquarian at any gathering. These unique, futuristic creatures are one of the friendliest, most social signs. Water Bearers are open-minded, unprejudiced and mix well with all kinds of people. Be sure you maintain the discerning eye of the well-organized host, as Aquarians can become so caught up in the social side of the affair, they forget to eat all together. Serving Garlic Mashed Potatoes and Baked Acorn Squash will bring them back to earth. See

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)Sweet Potato Biscuits; Southern Oyster Dressing Pisces love convivial gatherings, so – although the last of the 12 signs – they will most likely be one of the first to accept your invitation. They are natural comedians with just the right mix of mystical, sensitive, inspirational and impractical humor. The Fish will love whatever you provide and can quite easily convince themselves and others that a simple meal is a feast. But you can be sure that Sweet Potato Biscuits and Southern Oyster Dressing will be their special favorites.