Drying your Herbs

This is how easy it is.

Late in September, to the first week in October, go out in the morning and cut your herbs. Cut down to about 1-2 inches from the ground. Bundle them in small bunches, and tie the cut ends with "White COTTON String", or "natural twine". (Then hang them upside down (bloom end towards the floor) in a nice window, or just on the walls. I usually use a thumb tack and tack them to the window frame.

Let them sit there for about a month.

Not only will your kitchen smell WONDERFUL, but you saving yourself the money you would spend to buy the spices in the store. I have Rosemary, and Lavender hanging in my kitchen right now, but you can do any herb. I also have Chives, but I prefer to cut them into peices and freeze the chives... I don't care for the taste of dried ones. But you can do this with Parsley, Basil, and many more garden herbs!!!

When dry, take them down and with your fingers, strip the herbs from the stem, into a tupperwear container. Seal, and there you go!!!!! Fresh dried herbs for your winter cooking.

Well, I finally cleaned out that drawer. You know the one with all the bra's that don't fit!!! Too small, too big, very, very uncomfortable....Sexy one's (who the hell needs that anymore!!!) So I went thru it all. And CHUCKED THEM!!! I found myself saying..... hummmm, maybe I should keep that one.... I know it doesn't fit, way to tight, but it's sexy!) And then I slapped my own face, and put it in the bag to go to the garbage.

Then I went thru the underwear. Tell me, why do we keep underwear that's torn and the elastic has snapped???? Because it's comfortable?? Well, no more, it's garbage.

Even as I placed the stuff in the bag, I wanted to rummage around the bag and bring some stuff back out.... But I stopped myself!!! Sometimes you just have to move on to new, and let the old stuff go!!!!

But as I put my old RED lace bra in the bag, I remembered how it drove Darrence MAD WITH PASSION!!! And I sort of felt bad, memories you know. Then I remembered what an asshole Darrence was..... and I wanted to go out in the front yard AND BURN THAT BABY!!!! GIGGLE

BITE ME!!!!!

We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.


Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"?

Yeah right. Bite me.

Do not judge my skin so green,
and think me evil sight unseen!
for in the bog I flit and fly
in joyful abandon, till I die.
the color green, of frogs and wet,
this perfect life, my skin reflects .
although the swamps are dark and dreary,
my happy soul, is far from weary!

The creation of the Jersey Shore. GIGGLE

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael, the Archangel, found Him resting on the seventh day. He inquires of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh Of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds. "Look, Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth, "For example, Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Africa is going to be poor. The Middle East over there will be a hot spot."
God continued, pointing to different countries, "This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered with ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass with an ocean as it border and said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God, "that's the Jersey Shore, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, rivers, lakes, and climate. The people from the Jersey Shore are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high achieving people, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then exclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance! Everyone and everything seems so totally perfect in this place you call the Jersey Shore"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the assholes I'm sending down from New York every summer."

CUTEST COOKIE JAR IN THE WORLD!!!!

Isn't this the cutest thing????? I couldn't resist buying it!!!! I'm gonna hug him, and kiss him, and call him............ hummmmmm I need a name. Any ideas?????

Safety tips for living alone

Don't become, like some older people, locked in your own house. Here's some safety tips, that don't close you in!

1. Always keep your screen door locked! This way if you answer the door, there is always something between you and who ever is there. The main door can be open, but the screen door is locked, so if it's someone bad, it will take a few moments for them to get thro the screen door. In the summer I leave the main door open for airflow, but I always, always make sure the screen door is locked!!!!!! You don't have a screen door??? Get one!!!!!!!

2. Always lock the bathroom door when your in the house alone. My thought is being your safe in your most venerable spot.

3. If your afraid of some one breaking in, and you can't hear it.... Hang bells from your door nobs. Those Indian bells you can find at most $1 stores. When the door is opened, the bells will ring. I have a friend who was terrified of someone hididng in her closets.... She hung bells from every closet door, just in case. Even so, it MAKES you FEEL SAFE, and that's what's important.

4. Windows, open them around 5 to 6 inches... Just enough for air, but not enough for someone to squeeze through. And place a nail above the window and pound it into the side frame on the inside of the window... A big strong nail. So the window will only open those inches, unless you remove the nail. This way you can keep the windows open of air, but no one can remove the screen and hop in, the nail will prevent the window from opening more then the few inches you've set it at.

This is also great if you hate to lock up the house when you go out!!! You can still have air flow, leaving the windows open, but prevent break in's!

(Tip: MAKE IT A HABIT TO WALK AROUND THE OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE CHECKING WINDOWS, EACH TIME YOUR AWAY, EVEN TO THE STORE. IF SOMEONE BROKE IT, IT'S BETTER TO SPOT IT FROM THE OUTSIDE THEN WHEN YOUR ALREADY INSIDE!)

5. Keep a weapon within easy reach of your bed. Don't have to be a gun, try a steak knife, or large nail file, mace, pepper spray. Somewhere you can reach it without seeming to move much. If someone sneaks up to you while your in bed, you can grab something to defend yourself with!

6. If your alone at night, LOCK YOUR BEDROOM DOOR!!!! Any barriers you put between yourself and someone breaking in, is a good barrier! You may not hear them coming in the front door, but you will hear them trying to break in your bedroom door.
And if your bathroom is in your bedroom, get a inside dead bolt on it. If you run to the bathroom to hide, you can bolt the door.

7. Have a phone in every room!!!! Including the bathroom!!!!! You can always turn the ringer off, but at least you have it if you have to call for help!!!!

8. Don't blare the TV at night. People tend to do this, and if someone outside hears the TV blaring, they have less fear of breaking in, they know you won't hear them.

Winter Home

The fairy's scattered here and there,
to gather up their winter fare.
acorns, berries, fall sweet.
for winter dinners in snow deep
peering deep with the trees
to see what one's make winter keeps.
To set up house deep within,
and weather the winter till spring again

This is how it goes

Sometimes a poem with come to me, really fast, so I have to scramble to write it down. Before computers I wouldn't manage to write it all down, before it was gone again.... Like a cool breeze. Now I hit compose a letter, and type it in really fast... And it's done.

Sometimes, or I should say, most of the time, it's a picture that I see that brings the words to me. Any picture, something I see on the web, or the tv. I look at the picture, and see the words they are saying in them, and, there is born a verse.

So while the art isn't mine, the words the art speaks is mine.


I feel the soul and write the prose, and that is how my poetry goes. GIGGLE

Fall goodbyes

"My friend".....,
she said in tones so sweet,
"winter comes, and soon I sleep.
I come to say my fall goodbyes,
I'll miss your sweet soft feathers nye.
but in the spring,
I'll come again,
and we shall fly the bluest sky's.
so think of me in snowy deep,
and I shall dream of you and weep"