Sunday, May 25, 2008

I forgot!!!!!

You know, winters here at the shore lull you into complacency. You forget about summer, and enjoy the good stuff of winter.....

Like being able to go anywhere on the highway you want to, to any store's, anywhere......

Then summer hits, and your "OH FUCK"!! I FORGOT THE TRAFFIC!!!!

Shit, shit, shit, I can't get to my store down closer to shore on the weekends
I can't go ANYWHERE past the on ramp for the parkway and route 9

I'm STUCK ALL WEEKEND here up HERE because of the traffic!

Now that wouldn't be bad, but my health food store is down by the bridge..... so to get there for my bread or ANYTHING, I have to wait till the week day..... and this week, because of the holiday, I can't even think of going there till like.... Wednesday!!!!

I LOVE the summer......... but BENNIES PLEASE GO HOME!!!!!!!!

I know the holiday weekend will be over soon, and I know that the town survives by the summer "bennies" buying stuff, and going to the beach.

And during the winter, you have to put up with the 90 year old women going 20 miles per hour in a 50 mile per hours highway....... but then, summer is pretty good, because the old people stay home!

But here are some rules for "Bennies"

1. Speeding doesn't get you there any sooner, trust me, shore traffic don't speed

up much until the winter. Your not the only people on the road!!!!

2. You are NOT gods gift to the locals.... try to be polite

3. DO NOT beep at old people on the highway.... scaring them is


4. New York people.. TONE IT DOWN! Your not home, where the cursing, and

screaming is acceptable. You CAN talk on your cell phone

without SCREAMING!!!

(I'll tell you a story, I was crabbing on the Pier one morning last summer... communing with nature, the water, the seagulls, the wonderful quiet mummer of voices close by crabbing with me.... then the NEW YORKER showed up... and sat on the dock SCREAMING his conversation into the cell phone plastered to his ear!! Let me tell you, all of us locals sat there staring at him, and wondering is his fat ass would float if we pushed him and his cell phone into the water!!!!!)

5. WE live here all year round, the town doesn't close in the winter, we don't go

away, and WE WILL remember your dumb ass remarks about us!

6. Did you look in the mirror AFTER you put on that bathing

suit??? Try doing that!

Try to remember this is OUR HOME! Try treating us like your the guests instead of the owners!!!!